It’s been months of planning and finally deciding on something big (at least for me).
While I kept myself busy catching up with all the edit backlogs, I had the chance to revisit and assess all the photos I took this past years and I must say, I sucked (pardon my language)!
I realized I have to improve my knowledge on photography. Some people thought I’m doing great, but honestly, I am totally beaten of my work. I routinely give free shoots for my portfolio, and I was always excited to edit them once done. But now, this motivation turned into displeasure and constraint which caused me to overlook passion.
I missed the essence of taking pictures and why I did so. And so, I asked myself again the reason why I do photography aside from the fact that it has been a passion I want to pursue. However, I was reminded of my prayer when I was starting “Lord, may I be an avenue of your blessing to this people. And may this be a bridge for them to know You. I don’t know how, but let this be.”
Clients seemed to be unsatisfied with the upshot and I feel so guilty when I think of the fact that I accepted the fee for the shoot. I lost it. I lost the reason why I wanted to do this. I lost the connection to people that’s why the motivation and passion were gone. I was so pressured making it to the deadlines. I lost it because I was so focused on competing with other people’s work. I lost, especially, my confidence because I lacked faith to the one who gave me this talent and I lacked faith in myself.
So . . . this is what I have decided (and have done) before this year ends :
> Focus on Portraits which I loved ever since. I guess, I really am not for events and I have to accept that reality. So I will not accept events coverage. I’m telling you, it’s stressful.
> Total revamp on my Photography Instagram. I deleted all photos posted (but saved all the posted photos and the comments and the likes I got. I know it’s insane but I love saving good memories).
> Since I have to explore Lightroom and Photoshop editing more. I started to re-edit photos I will be posting on social media and choose the best out the best shots I took for posting.
> I created another page for my Photography in Facebook, because I forgot the email and password I used when I transferred the admin of the page to a new FB account. How silly is that?
> I changed the name “LUKE” to my original nickname “LORIE”. People often mistake me for a guy, so, let’s make it feminine this time.
I have to get myself back together. I have to compete with myself not with others. And I have to trust my own abilities and trust God that He will give the strength to do it.
xx Luke xx